Well, I would like to review the Junior Boys DJ set I attended last Saturday as part of the CODE Live Cultural Olympiad…
That is to say, I would like to, but due to the stifling nature of VANCOC/City of Van/B.C. liquor laws — I cannot.
I totally missed the @#$%! Junior Boys because it took SOOO long to get a drink. The show was held in a huge warehouse out on Great Northern Way Campus, and this had the potential to be pretty darn awesome.
But first, after waiting to get inside the venue (to be expected), we had to wait in a 20-minute line to go through one tiny door toward the drinking lounge. Behind the door was a large, colourfully-lit area with white glowing tables and doodles of intestines and sperm on the walls.
Hmmokay, sperm… no, drinks! Let’s not get distracted here.
We quickly found the bar and some minutes later (like eight) we were told we needed to buy drink tickets first. Bah. So we waited in a 15-to-20-minute line to get those.
Then we had to wait in a fourth and final line to get a @#$%! drink! Obvs I got two because I was not about to go through that go-around again.
Annnnnnnnd therefore I missed the bleeding Junior Boys DJ set. The very same DJ set I had hoped to see the most!
Ahh well, I did see LA Riots, and they managed to rock the warehouse pretty badass (see above photo of crazy crowd-surfing-bodystocking dude) but I must admit, as I danced the night away I felt a bit deflated. Perhaps it was empty space in my hot little hand, just the right size for, oh I dunno, a DRINK?
Anyway, all in all the show was decent but in the end I went home pissed… and not in the drunken way.
Perhaps the provincial laws are not to blame. Perhaps it’s the typical Vancouver prohibitions on drinking in order to make the city into a designated no-fun zone: “No, no we can’t have drinking in places specified to have fun things happening there as well. People might see! They might not buy property!”
This would never fly in the U.S.; it would never fly in the U.K. This is why the Pemberton Festival will likely not return to our fair province! Sorry: rant.
Anyway, in the end my favourite memories from the night were rooted in the compliments I received on my new and awesome necklace:
Isn’t it the best?! I think the necklace looks kinda like a disease, or, as my lovely friend said, “Like something created by Lucy and Bart” — those creative geniuses to whom I gave shoutouts some months ago.
It’s made by Majique and I bought it at the Bay, also where I picked up this nationalistic t-shirt to wear to Olympic events ’round the city.
Let’s hope the rest of the festivities don’t disappoint.
(Stern stare.)
All photos by me.





